How often have you
been put-off by something that someone said to you?
It may have made
you decide not to buy from that person, or perhaps you were left feeling
insulted or put down or maybe you just felt uncomfortable, but didn't
really know why.
Using the correct
words can play a major role in building rapport whether it be with your
customers or clients, fellow team members or business associates.
considers these to be the most persuasive words in the English language:
· Easy · Results · Save · Discover ·
Guarantee · Safety · Health · Love · Money
· Need · Proven - and the one everybody loves to hear,
You. What do you think? What words motivate you?
If you're the type
who is driven by results and success then obviously those words "results"
and "success" will really work for you. If however you need
to see evidence that a product or service is for you then words like
"results" and "save" may seem superficial while
"guaranteed" and "proven" will make you feel more
The key is simply
to establish what is important to the person you are negotiating with
and focus on what's important to them (not what you think they should
I have won major
contracts over the years simply by applying this technique. And how
do you find out what's important? You just ask!
For example, some
years ago I was tendering for the contract to handle the official opening
of the Sydney Harbour Tunnel. I assumed, as did the other public relations
agencies tendering, that they would be looking for a spectacular event.
I found that out by simply asking "What's the most important thing
to you about this event?"
I discovered that
because of the huge number of VIPS who were to be invited they were
most concerned about the handling of the logistics and protocol. We
focused on our skills in handling logistics and protocol, the other
companies focused on the bells and whistles. We won the contract.
Use of Jargon
Every industry has
it - its own jargon - words that only make sense to those who work in
that industry, or department, or organisation. If everyone knows what
the jargon means it's not a problem, in fact it can often be used to
effectively build rapport. However, the inappropriate use of jargon
very quickly alienates those who aren't privy to what it means. If in
doubt - don't use it!
Another very powerful
communication skill is the ability to give your opinion without causing
conflict or appearing to put down others. Again, a very simple technique
once you know how.
How often do you
hear a discussion where someone says something like "I agree, but
..." What is the message you get as soon as you hear "but"?
You're wrong! (And usually you are left feeling frustrated and completely
negated - right?)
One of the most
powerful words I've discovered in the English language only has three
letters and yet it can bridge to express a point of view in a very powerful
and empowering way. The magic word is "AND".
Think about it.
How would you feel if someone responded to your point of view by saying:
appreciate that you're saying and ..." or "I respect what
you're saying and ..." or "I agree and ..."
What an effective
way to express an opinion without creating resistance or conflict. Try
it, it works.
By being more aware
of the words that you use, what you're actually doing is building rapport
with the other person, acknowledging their point of view and creating
an environment of mutual respect. A great way to do business.