Oddly enough, for many,
there is rarely a day that goes by where we procrastinate making a decision
because we experience a lack of self-confidence or feelings of self-doubt.
The standards set, while
growing up into adulthood, had most of us depending on others - parents, teachers,
and relatives - for direction and guidance that set up our self-image and levels
of confidence. Unfortunately, during that period of time, we experienced more
no's than yes's. As a result we either rebelled or we succumb to the expectations
of others - looking to them for approval -- embedding in us expectation levels
of perfectionism and shaping our self-image.
As adults, to function in
a competitive world, requires that we be less dependent of looking to others
for approval. The drive to win approval, through perfection, sets in motion
negative procrastination and a stressful existence. When we drop the notion
that we must live up to others expectation of being perfect, we then begin to
build our enter strength of self-confidence.
When we overcome the lack
of self-confidence and feelings of self-doubt, then problem solving and decision
making, becomes second nature to us. True self-confidence comes about by understanding
our abilities, strengths and having the willingness to change what we choose.
"Change" is a word that runs the gambit of drudging up feelings from anger,
bitterness, hopelessness and pain to happiness, relief and pleasure.
However, bringing everything
into consideration, you and me and everyone else on this planet is in the problem
solving business - and to be effective in delivering problem solving solutions
we need, a well developed, self-confidence. Therefore let me say that living
in an economy based on innovation -- an economy in which you can win big simply
by outthinking the competition -- self-confidence and decision making is paramount
Now, let me give you an
exemplary example of someone who embodies such characteristic traits of self-confidence
and problem solving.
Frederick W. Smith, Chairman,
President, and CEO, FedEx Corp. Using a central clearinghouse, along with a
hub-and-spoke system of dissemination, enabled FedEx to deliver, point-to-point,
anywhere in the United States -- absolutely, positively overnight. Smith said:
"We thought that we were selling the transportation of goods; in fact, we were
selling peace of mind." - Fred Smith's focus and self-confidence was a force
in his innovation and problem solving solutions.
Here are several methods
for increasing your self-confidence and problem solving abilities according
to Brian M. Alman and Peter Lambrou, Ph.D.'s
First, identify which area
of your life spawns the most self-doubt, the least self-confidence. - Your work,
people of the opposite sex, parents, a boss, spouse, etc.
Second, select which area
you want to work on first. Set reasonable objectives and focus on one specific
circumstance in which you feel self-doubt.
Third, go into a state of
quiet relaxation to do some inner examination, some self-exploration. Imagine
an old situation with someone whose approval you sought, but now imagine a new
actions stemming from your perceptions of self-confident behavior.
Forth, where you had self-doubt,
now see yourself with self-confidence giving yourself positive self-suggestion
to reinforce the change you want to accomplish.
Fifth, for your success
you must have a desire to change, which comes from within you and should have
little influence by what others want from or expect from you.