In 1973, people had 26 hours
of leisure time each week. Today, we average only 16 hours of leisure time.
That may be a result of the fact that more than half of the families with small
children have both parents working and there is obviously a growing number of
single parent families as well. Stress in the home and workplace is becoming
a growing and widespread concern. How can we become maintain balance when there
is less time to do all the things that are demanded of us? Here are some ideas
that have worked for me as I attempt to balance my speaking business with family
Set goals with Significant
Others. Steven Covey, author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,
suggests creating a "Family Mission Statement" as a couple or family unit. When
developed with grade school children it can create more commitment to our families
and become the basis for making decisions and setting priorities. You can also
develop a "Goal Book" to help you visualize your goals and dreams.
Treat Others the Way
They Want to be Treated. Since some significant others have a desire to
know the details of our whereabouts, a monthly calendar on our refrigerator
can be helpful in coordinating work and after-work commitments and babysitting
schedules. With the various colors, it is easy to see when balance becomes an
issue. We are strong advocates of scheduling leisure time and "date nights"
so that we can make our time as a dual-career couple a priority.
Only One of You.
Recognize that you cannot do it all by yourself. There is only one of you. Just
because you can do something, doesn't necessarily mean you must
do it. For example, I have opted not to serve on the boards of several professional
and community associations at this time in my life. This is the time for me
to spend with my 4 and 7 year old boys. There will be a later time for me to
serve and give back to my community and profession. I choose not to feel guilty
over that decision because it is one that fits my personal philosophy and mission.
I love Dr. Bernie Siegel's
thoughts on success. He says, "The only problem with climbing the ladder of
success too frantically is we have to be careful when we get to the top we don't
look down and realize it's leaning against the wrong building."
What about the personal
side of there being only one of you. I am a big advocate of hiring a house cleaning
service, particularly for dual-career couples. It's important to keep in mind,
that if you manage the household, that does not mean that you do all the work.
You need to delegate it, just as managers in other organizations delegate to
Personal Power In
order to not burn out, we must have a place where we can "fill up". Where do
you get your personal power from and the strength to keep going each day? Personally,
I find it is important for me to start out each day with meditation and prayer
so that my focus is where it should be. Perhaps you "fill up" in a different
If we are to become balanced,
it is critical to develop ways to rejuvenate ourselves and develop our spiritual
foundations. We will live a more satisfying and fulfilling life if we know we
are here for a higher purpose--not just to satisfy our material urges and compete
Donald and Nancy Tubesing
in Seeking Your Healthy Balance state it well "The challenge is, in light of
your values and beliefs, to invest yourself where it counts -- to invest yourself
in a balance between self-care, other-care, and meaningful work that you believe
in, that you can live with and be proud of, and that ultimately you will be
willing to die with as your legacy. Invest yourself so that you can look back
on your life and say that in your own way you did what you could to make the
world a better place."